Getting Married in the Catholic Church
Christian marriage is a natural institution raised by Jesus Christ to a supernatural institution. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that marriage is an order in the Church, the order of spouses (see CCC 1537, 1631). While marriage is certainly a covenant between the couple, it is also a covenant with God administered by His Catholic Church. A covenant is an institution that makes a family where there was not one by nature. Coming to the Church for marriage in the Catholic Church means understanding and being adequately prepared for this Sacrament. It requires understanding the meaning of the vocation, of the covenant itself, and of the rights and duties of married couples. We live in a time in which marriage is misunderstood, attacked, and undermined. Relationships are more difficult than ever before and flourishing marriages are becoming rare. This means that the couples formation for marriage must address these challenges. Therefore, the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of St. Peter requires all couples seeking marriage to undergo proper marriage formation.
Marriage in the Catholic Church requires the couple be under the jurisdiction of parish marrying them. At least one partner must be a member of the Ordinariate of the Chair of St. Peter and a member of the parish. Obtaining Ordinariate membership can take some time so if this needs to be addressed, contact [email protected]. If the one of the partners is a non-Catholic Christian, is not baptized, or if one or both have been previously married we strongly recommend you contact us as early as possible. These circumstances require additional time to address. If there was a previous marriage for either partner and no formal declaration of nullity (colloquially called an annulment) has been issued by a diocesan marriage tribunal, you must contact the parish before making any plans.
Engaged couples seeking marriage at Our Lady of the Atonement Catholic Church should contact Deacon Delaney, [email protected], 12 - 14 months prior to the desired wedding date. If the contact is less than 12 months, couples will be eligibile only for the self-paced formation program; however they must contact Deacon Delaney NO LATER THAN 9-12 months prior to the desired date of marriage. In any case, you must NOT set a date or make any contractual commitments until after you receive notice your wedding date has been confirmed.
Marriage Formation
In order to prepare the couple for the vocation of marriage, to prepare for its challenges, and to provide each couple with integral formation, we strongly recommend that each couple discerning marriage begin a process of discernment and formation as early as possible. Our Lady of the Atonement Catholic Church has partnered with Mother of the Americas Institute to provide parishioners with a program of marriage formation and facilitated discernment. This program, called The Great Mystery, may be started before the couple makes the decision to marry in order to discern in a systematic and thoughtful manner. Whether engaged or not the couple must start the program a minimum of one year before their desired marriage date. This program, called The Great Mystery, is developed to teach the couple the meaning of the Christian vocation of marriage, to understand the general challenges of married life, to identify and overcome any issues specific to the couple which might threaten a flourishing marriage, and to develop the virtue and spiritual maturity needed for a joyful marriage. More information on The Great Mystery can be found here. For couples who are unable to commit to at least a year of formation, there is an option to take The Great Mystery on-line in a self-paced program. This formation program requires at least 8 months to complete. Couples interested in more information about The Great Mystery should contact Deacon David Delaney, [email protected].
Courtship Discernment
Facilitated courtship is offered at Our Lady of the Atonement, through Mother of the Americas Institute. It is currently available for a limited number of couples due to available facilitators. Couples will be accepted on a first come, first served basis. A couple should consider themselves in courtship when their relationship is exclusive (they have explicitly agreed not to date any other person) and they know each other sufficiently well to know they can trust each other to keep in confidence the private details that must be shared in order to fully discern a potential marriage. When the couple believes God may be calling them to marriage and are ready to discern the possible vocation between them more deeply and systematically through facilitated courtship, you should contact Deacon Delaney, [email protected].
For more information, see our tutorial on Holy Matrimony.